Fingers crossed.

I have a lot of prospects in the works right now, so I'm pretty excited/anxious/terrified. I spoke with a friend of mine who has done the Wellness program that I applied for at my school, and she said they rarely turn people out, but that I should be forewarned that they're going to put me through the paces and kick my ass. It's probably just what I need, and while I'll hate every minute of it - I'll learn to love it. And I'll certainly enjoy the results I'll get. I'm not sure when I'll hear back from them as to whether or not I've gotten in, but I went out and bought a few gym outfits - it doesn't matter whether or not I get in, because I still plan to put the facilities to good use. After all, I pay a giant chunk of my ass every semester to let them sit there, might as well get my money's worth in more than just the academics.

Speaking of academics, this semester is going to suck a little bit. I'm stuck somewhere between thinking my statistics class is going to be alright, and thinking it's the end of the world. And I really hate writing giant papers, but it seems that for many of my classes, it's become a requirement. C'est la vie. I'm going to rock this semester as hard as I possibly can, and if I'm lucky... perhaps I'll end up on the President's list again. =) I saw my name on that list today, and I was so, so proud! Made me feel incredible.

One of my psychology teachers today said something that was both funny, and a little bit sad. Apparently, our psych department's students are known for the ability to always come up with an excuse for their actions - always. She said it stems from the fact that we're learning to pick apart others' excuses, but she also said something else that struck home with me. You can't teach children to live life on excuses, because they won't get anywhere and it won't do them any good in life. They have to own their mistakes, or choices, or whatever, and take responsibility. It made me think a lot about how last year, I made a lot of excuses. It wasn't a pretty year for me, and I saw that facing me in a full-length mirror today while trying on clothes.

The sight that greeted me had so many emotions running through me. Sadness. Disgust. Anger, for sure - at myself. Why didn't I love myself enough to give myself the gift of health? Why did I make so many excuses? I don't know, maybe I was just being weak and hiding from my needs, but I'm trying now, and that's all that counts. Every day won't be incredible, but every day is a step towards making myself a better person, mind, body and soul. That's got to count for something.

I officially signed up for the Slim and Sassy challenge this evening, as I have all of the tools to complete the challenge at my disposal now. I start tomorrow, which is incredibly exciting. I'm hoping for great results - because everyone needs a little challenge, right? Perhaps it'll kick my butt into gear.

I'm going to jot down my starting weight tomorrow, and also post my measurements. Tonight, I'll leave you with an image of my motivation board - it's almost done. =) I'm happy with it.

Have a good night, everyone. I'm going to hit the sheets so I can get up for class again tomorrow.